So I started another project. But this time I found something out about myself that I don't think I ever realized before. I am a nerd. I'm sure I'd be happy in a lab coat and goggles, wearing glasses with tape, holding clipboards....you know, the real deal. I really love to research. The only problem is that I love to research more than I love making or doing the very thing I just researched. A lot of people have creativity, grace, style - I seem to only have the ability to look things up.... Well, this ability or whatever you might want to call it - this nerdiness - whatever - has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years and this new project is no exception.
In order to tell you what this new venture is all about I must give some background information. About 11 years I went holistic. To explain what I mean I will use one of my adorable sisters own words. "Whenever we go to visit her (meaning me) it's like going to 'Little House on the Prairie!'" Isn't she just adorable! Unfortunately, she isn't completely off her rocker. Over the years it is true that I have embarked on some pretty odd and "a la naturel" adventures. For instance, I started raising and milking goats, grinding my own grain for homemade breads and using herbs regularly for health. In my defense, I don't wear a bonnet....Little House wouldn't have had me. But my projects have always been interesting, often amusing and occasionally irritating to my family.
My newest project came out of a pretty nervy and possibly egotistical thought which went something like this. "I can make that!." Although I have changed many habits in my life from diet to health care to you name it, makeup was something I would NOT abandon for the sake of health. There just had to be a way around this little toxicity problem because my barn still needed painting - if you know what I mean. So in an attempt to improve this dilemna, so far as toxin levels go, I tried to find healthy alternatives. I would read labels and research ingredients (my forte) and then try to find something that wasn't outrageously expensive and somewhat safe to use on my face. When my daughters joined the makeup band wagon it became more difficult. But we limped along with a "this is the best I can do mentality". I was challenged last fall on some of the questionable ingredients in my regiment and research got the better of me and I ended up purchasing a truly harmless loose mineral foundation. The company really thought a lot of their three ingredients because the price was outrageous. So now I'll unveil my new project - I looked at the ingredients list and said to myself something like this, "I can figure out how to make this stuff at home! I think I'm going to make my own makeup in my own kitchen!!" Loreal, you have nothing on me!! Did I just lose you? You read it right. I'm attempting to make my own makeup at home!
But here's where my nerdy self takes over - it's time to research. I research and research, am still researching and since I'm such a "go big or go home" kind of girl, I am not only researching this one mineral makeup, but this monster has grown to include eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, lotions, creams - you name it, I had something written down on it. It moves to the next step. Ordering. Little jars, Iron Oxides, clay, oils all start arriving....fun, fun, fun. Don't you love packages that come in the mail? Now that I have the fun healthy ingredients in my kitchen I now have to do the part I'm not that good at - working.....But the determination to make this happen takes over and I get started. My first assignment is to duplicate the foundation I had recently discovered. Experiment after experiment. Try after try. Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this. Mixing colors, mixing ingredients. Trying a different combination. Try it on my face, take it off, try again. Maybe this will work after all. I think I'll wear it out! Feeling a sense of accomplishment, it was time for bigger and better things.
Lotion. I have found a wonderful little recipe on the internet for face cream. I should have clued in from the picture of the woman who formulated the recipe that this might not be a great idea because she was the real deal - berkenstocks, long dress and almost equally as long was her henna-dyed hair. Well, the instructions were so plain and clear I figure there was no way I could mess it up. The procedure begins. I melt the oils - lovely coconut and sunflower oils. I add the water including aloe vera and then in comes the beeswax that I have chopped into little pieces and melted into the oils. The beeswax came from that woman and has quite an odor but I had nothing to compare it to being so new to this world, so I trustingly carry on. I add a few more ingredients and some lavender oil for scent. "This is easy", I conclude. Next comes the blender - mix it up and in the end it actually looks like fluffy icing. Into the containers it goes. Beautiful! I am so proud of my handiwork and figure this is such a no fail deal I'll make millions! Well, that evening I decide to put some of my creamy masterpiece on my face to lubricate it for the night. It's actually quite a heavy face cream not really a lotion at all and kind of greasy but if you have dry skin let me tell you this stuff will oil you up in no time....so on it goes. I enter the living room with my adorned face. All along I have been smelling that woman's beeswax odor coming from the cream. It has quite a strong smell that I've been trying to ignore. Finally I face the facts - it stinks! How could that woman with the hemp, henna get-up sell me stinky beeswax? I enter the living room anyway. My daughter immediately smells the toxicity now permeating the room and my poor husband is completely grossed out. Actually at this point I can't even stand myself! I must wash it off. Off I trudge back to the bathroom to rid myself of the unwanted stench. Daughter and husband are satisfied. I am a little defeated, but over the course of the next couple of days and now weeks I would console myself by using a little humor. My consolation consisted of threatening the kids with my opening the dreaded bottle - they would in turn scream bloody murder at the mere thought. This procedure at least gave me some compensation for my failure.
But then it happened. I had a friend over one evening and wanted to share with her how awful my cream smelled so I chanced it and opened the lid. To my amazement the cream didn't have that terrible smell. It was thicker than "all get out", but it didn't smell. I could grease a pig and you'd never be able to catch it, but it didn't smell. The only smell was the lavender. So after all that researching and nerding around, I do not wear any homemade facial cream, but what I do wear on my face is homemade loose foundation, eyeshadow, liner, blush and even tinted lip balm. Being a nerd isn't all that bad after all.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Adventures at a Home and Garden Show
Last weekend I went with a friend somewhere I've never been before. We went to a Home and Garden Show. Neither of us had ever been to one of these events before and had no idea what to expect. But it sounded fun, the name sounded GREAT and I figured there would be lots of ideas for your Home and Garden.......I know, my mind doesn't go very deep....So off we go.
After arriving we walked for a while with other people who looked fairly normal....family type people - garden type people - whatever that is..... OK, OK, they looked like us!! Normal!!! I figured this will be OK. We purchased our entrance tickets. In hindsight I find it interesting that we had to pay an entrance fee to be given the "opportunity" to spend money..... We really had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. I was actually hoping to see HGTV Network stars....
Upon paying our precious entrance fee we entered the very large stadium. Right in the doorway was a man working on a giant sand sculpture - very cool. Big room, lots of activity - what is this place? Then we saw it - THE VENDORS! Men and women of all shapes and sizes each were attending their own booth of specialized products for either home or garden - things like home owner's insurance, pots and pans, sheets, purses, solar panels, cabinetry, mops and cleaning items. You name it they were trying to sell it!! There were many booths we were totally uninterested in and would get caught in simply because I would make eye contact with the vendor and then get roped in. My friend wasn't making eye contact on purpose, but since she was with me, we both had to go......
We walked down the first aisle to discover a woman who does her own tatting - my friend loves to crochet and knit so she knew what tatting was - I, of course, didn't, but loved the work she did. Kind of like crocheting......kind of. Lovely lady with lovely things. I bought a beautiful tatted shawl - I don't wear shawls, but I hoped my daughters would.....It's still in a pile in their room. But it was worth every penny - the woman was lovely. So on we continued down the huge aisles browsing by each vendor's stand hoping not to get roped in.
Then it happened. We arrived at the booth for the sea salt products from Israel. My unfortunate husband got suckered into one of these booths in the mall one day and I received some sea salt scrub and lotion for my birthday a few years ago. I knew the product. The man selling all the many options of scrubs, etc. asked if he could put a solution on our skin that would get deep into our tissue and clean out layer by layer the toxins right down to our muscles! That's pretty deep, I figured. He started in on my friend. First gel then something else is applied with a Q-tip. He explained that we will see a lot of flaky snow-like stuff coming off our skin which is proof that we are very toxic and need his product. He doesn't say all that but that's what he means.....He rubbed, and rubbed and rubbed....then in shock said, "Wow, you hardly have any!! Most people have so much it looks like it's snowing!" Pleased with my friend, I wanted to see what my skin is like! "Do mine!" I quickly interjected! Same procedure for me - gel, Q-tip, something other cream, more talking, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing.....Finally he says, "You have even less than her!!" I am extremely pleased with myself and my friend - all that healthy eating and herbs have paid off.....We laughed with him about what we do in our spare time to which we joked with him about our sitting around all day and exfoliated our skin.....By this time my ego and my vanity was at an all time high. That's never good. I think he really wanted to make a sale but didn't need his toxin cleaning product so he tried another angle. "Could I put this serum on your face? It's for wrinkles and it's better than Botox because it's made from all natural ingredients and peptides - do you know what a peptide is?" The questions keep firing..... We are a little bewildered with the peptide question but eventually my brain clues in and I answer "yes" - only really knowing that there were such things as peptides but don't ask me what they do! Then he added another statement - "I won't mess up your make-up" Well, if that's the case, put anything on! Put hydrochloric acid on my face, how about fertilizer - no, better yet, put the REAL fertilizer on it - I don't care, just DON'T mess up my make up?? Honestly! What was I thinking!! To answer my own question we must all remember that my ego and vanity were at an all time high - lest we forget, I'm NOT as toxic as others. That's pretty exciting. So I allowed him to proceed. Once again gel - actually a serum - is patted around my left eye and then he goes to the indentation around the left side of my mouth. Gently patting, slowly patting. Feels like forever. After a small eternity he's done! His masterpiece! Out whips the mirror to show me his handiwork! "See" he says, "your indentation has lifted and your eyes have reduced wrinkles!" Actually I COULD see the difference!! It was a miraculous little peptide, wasn't it!
Being pleased with the fun we were having and our non toxic skin and now my wrinkle-lesser face, we leave our "Dead Sea man" and go on to bigger and better things - things like irons!! Never thought irons and garlic graters and granite cutting boards could be so exciting. But in that room everything was exciting. I obviously don't get out much.....
On occasion we would head to the bathroom and each time to my horror I would look in the mirror to observe the left side of my still a little less "old" than my right. "Can you tell the difference?" I would ask my friend. "No" she would laugh. But I could tell - EVERYTIME! "I'm lop-sided", I would moan and complain. She would laugh. We continued on browsing and doing a little purchasing until the last visit to the bathroom before leaving the show. "OK, I think I need to go back to the booth," I tell my friend, "and ask them when this serum stuff wears off, and if it doesn't, I need them to do the other side because I'M NOT EVEN!!" I'm a little panicky now because the reality of the situation is settling in. What was this stuff anyway??? She laughs again and off we go to redeem my dignity and my face! But by now there are lots of people at this show. The man who helped us earlier is busy with other unsuspecting victims and the lady helping him is not helping. She's sitting down eating her lunch. I interrupt her large mouthful, "Does this serum wear off?" I ask. "O no, it NEVER wears off. It's a part of your DNA!!" She's proud of her statement. I'm horrified. You're kidding me - that's what a peptide is??? It's like a freaky little molecule that imitates your own DNA and infiltrates your skin and BECOMES you!! "Well, I need you to make my face even!!" I insist. She asks if I know how much the serum costs to which I answer no. She volunteers the special price to me - "It's $220 dollars for both bottles. Online it's $300 for each bottle. This is really a good deal!" She's very pleased with herself. "Well, no, I won't be buying any today. Thank you very much." "OK". She gets the two bottles - She started in on my left side like I requested but she doesn't apply the "serum" the way the man did. He was gentle and got really close to the bottom of my eyeball - she wants her lunch - her tactic is rub quick and harsh. And of course doesn't get under the eyeball like he did - I figure I'm still going to be a little uneven, but by now - who cares! She finishes. No mirror for the moocher. If I'm not buying I guess she's going to go back to her lunch. Satisfied with the fact that at least I tried, we leave the show laughing. Mostly my friend is laughing AT me but all in fun.
What an adventure a Home and Garden Show can be. All I can say is - SHOPPERS, BEWARE! You'll never know what might happen when you don't know what you're getting into!
After arriving we walked for a while with other people who looked fairly normal....family type people - garden type people - whatever that is..... OK, OK, they looked like us!! Normal!!! I figured this will be OK. We purchased our entrance tickets. In hindsight I find it interesting that we had to pay an entrance fee to be given the "opportunity" to spend money..... We really had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. I was actually hoping to see HGTV Network stars....
Upon paying our precious entrance fee we entered the very large stadium. Right in the doorway was a man working on a giant sand sculpture - very cool. Big room, lots of activity - what is this place? Then we saw it - THE VENDORS! Men and women of all shapes and sizes each were attending their own booth of specialized products for either home or garden - things like home owner's insurance, pots and pans, sheets, purses, solar panels, cabinetry, mops and cleaning items. You name it they were trying to sell it!! There were many booths we were totally uninterested in and would get caught in simply because I would make eye contact with the vendor and then get roped in. My friend wasn't making eye contact on purpose, but since she was with me, we both had to go......
We walked down the first aisle to discover a woman who does her own tatting - my friend loves to crochet and knit so she knew what tatting was - I, of course, didn't, but loved the work she did. Kind of like crocheting......kind of. Lovely lady with lovely things. I bought a beautiful tatted shawl - I don't wear shawls, but I hoped my daughters would.....It's still in a pile in their room. But it was worth every penny - the woman was lovely. So on we continued down the huge aisles browsing by each vendor's stand hoping not to get roped in.
Then it happened. We arrived at the booth for the sea salt products from Israel. My unfortunate husband got suckered into one of these booths in the mall one day and I received some sea salt scrub and lotion for my birthday a few years ago. I knew the product. The man selling all the many options of scrubs, etc. asked if he could put a solution on our skin that would get deep into our tissue and clean out layer by layer the toxins right down to our muscles! That's pretty deep, I figured. He started in on my friend. First gel then something else is applied with a Q-tip. He explained that we will see a lot of flaky snow-like stuff coming off our skin which is proof that we are very toxic and need his product. He doesn't say all that but that's what he means.....He rubbed, and rubbed and rubbed....then in shock said, "Wow, you hardly have any!! Most people have so much it looks like it's snowing!" Pleased with my friend, I wanted to see what my skin is like! "Do mine!" I quickly interjected! Same procedure for me - gel, Q-tip, something other cream, more talking, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing.....Finally he says, "You have even less than her!!" I am extremely pleased with myself and my friend - all that healthy eating and herbs have paid off.....We laughed with him about what we do in our spare time to which we joked with him about our sitting around all day and exfoliated our skin.....By this time my ego and my vanity was at an all time high. That's never good. I think he really wanted to make a sale but didn't need his toxin cleaning product so he tried another angle. "Could I put this serum on your face? It's for wrinkles and it's better than Botox because it's made from all natural ingredients and peptides - do you know what a peptide is?" The questions keep firing..... We are a little bewildered with the peptide question but eventually my brain clues in and I answer "yes" - only really knowing that there were such things as peptides but don't ask me what they do! Then he added another statement - "I won't mess up your make-up" Well, if that's the case, put anything on! Put hydrochloric acid on my face, how about fertilizer - no, better yet, put the REAL fertilizer on it - I don't care, just DON'T mess up my make up?? Honestly! What was I thinking!! To answer my own question we must all remember that my ego and vanity were at an all time high - lest we forget, I'm NOT as toxic as others. That's pretty exciting. So I allowed him to proceed. Once again gel - actually a serum - is patted around my left eye and then he goes to the indentation around the left side of my mouth. Gently patting, slowly patting. Feels like forever. After a small eternity he's done! His masterpiece! Out whips the mirror to show me his handiwork! "See" he says, "your indentation has lifted and your eyes have reduced wrinkles!" Actually I COULD see the difference!! It was a miraculous little peptide, wasn't it!
Being pleased with the fun we were having and our non toxic skin and now my wrinkle-lesser face, we leave our "Dead Sea man" and go on to bigger and better things - things like irons!! Never thought irons and garlic graters and granite cutting boards could be so exciting. But in that room everything was exciting. I obviously don't get out much.....
On occasion we would head to the bathroom and each time to my horror I would look in the mirror to observe the left side of my still a little less "old" than my right. "Can you tell the difference?" I would ask my friend. "No" she would laugh. But I could tell - EVERYTIME! "I'm lop-sided", I would moan and complain. She would laugh. We continued on browsing and doing a little purchasing until the last visit to the bathroom before leaving the show. "OK, I think I need to go back to the booth," I tell my friend, "and ask them when this serum stuff wears off, and if it doesn't, I need them to do the other side because I'M NOT EVEN!!" I'm a little panicky now because the reality of the situation is settling in. What was this stuff anyway??? She laughs again and off we go to redeem my dignity and my face! But by now there are lots of people at this show. The man who helped us earlier is busy with other unsuspecting victims and the lady helping him is not helping. She's sitting down eating her lunch. I interrupt her large mouthful, "Does this serum wear off?" I ask. "O no, it NEVER wears off. It's a part of your DNA!!" She's proud of her statement. I'm horrified. You're kidding me - that's what a peptide is??? It's like a freaky little molecule that imitates your own DNA and infiltrates your skin and BECOMES you!! "Well, I need you to make my face even!!" I insist. She asks if I know how much the serum costs to which I answer no. She volunteers the special price to me - "It's $220 dollars for both bottles. Online it's $300 for each bottle. This is really a good deal!" She's very pleased with herself. "Well, no, I won't be buying any today. Thank you very much." "OK". She gets the two bottles - She started in on my left side like I requested but she doesn't apply the "serum" the way the man did. He was gentle and got really close to the bottom of my eyeball - she wants her lunch - her tactic is rub quick and harsh. And of course doesn't get under the eyeball like he did - I figure I'm still going to be a little uneven, but by now - who cares! She finishes. No mirror for the moocher. If I'm not buying I guess she's going to go back to her lunch. Satisfied with the fact that at least I tried, we leave the show laughing. Mostly my friend is laughing AT me but all in fun.
What an adventure a Home and Garden Show can be. All I can say is - SHOPPERS, BEWARE! You'll never know what might happen when you don't know what you're getting into!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Natural Cleaning Products
Buzz words these days - eco friendly, environmentally friendly, green.....well none of those words describe me.....but I do like to use products that protect my family's health. Here are a few ideas that use ingredients you probably already have in your home. Sometimes it's overwhelming to change your cleaning routine but start slowly and pretty soon your house will be toxin free and also clean!
MULTI PURPOSE SPRAY CLEANER
Ingredients:
16 oz empty spray bottle
Purified Water to fill bottle
2 tsp. Sunshine Concentrate or glycerin - Sunshine Concentrate found on naturessunshine.com
Add a total of approximately 30 drops essential oils - these are also found on naturessunshine.com (these are high quality pure oils - it's worth it to get the best)
oils: tea tree, eucalyptus, pink grapefruit, lemon, pine needle, thyme, clove, rosemary, lavender,
I usually use at least 3 different oils.
Instructions:
Shake lightly.
Spray on counter tops including granite and sinks - Wipe up with a damp sponge.
Spray on windows and mirrors then dry with paper towel.
Spray lightly on a clean cloth and use to dust furniture.
When I say multi purpose, I mean multi purpose!
TUB AND SHOWER CLEANER
Ingredients:
Baking Soda
Multi Purpose Cleaner
Instructions:
Spray shower or tub with the multi purpose cleaner and sprinkle liberally with the baking soda.
Scrub with a good scrubbing brush.
TOILET BOWL CLEANER
Ingredients:
1 cup vinegar
Instructions:
Flush toilet and then pour about 1 cup vinegar into the toilet being sure to hit under the rim.
Let sit for half an hour.
Scrub well with a toilet brush.
To clean the outside of the bowl, spray multi purpose cleaner on tank and seat and around the base and wipe up with a sponge.
I's amazing how easy non-toxic cleaning can be!
MULTI PURPOSE SPRAY CLEANER
Ingredients:
16 oz empty spray bottle
Purified Water to fill bottle
2 tsp. Sunshine Concentrate or glycerin - Sunshine Concentrate found on naturessunshine.com
Add a total of approximately 30 drops essential oils - these are also found on naturessunshine.com (these are high quality pure oils - it's worth it to get the best)
oils: tea tree, eucalyptus, pink grapefruit, lemon, pine needle, thyme, clove, rosemary, lavender,
I usually use at least 3 different oils.
Instructions:
Shake lightly.
Spray on counter tops including granite and sinks - Wipe up with a damp sponge.
Spray on windows and mirrors then dry with paper towel.
Spray lightly on a clean cloth and use to dust furniture.
When I say multi purpose, I mean multi purpose!
TUB AND SHOWER CLEANER
Ingredients:
Baking Soda
Multi Purpose Cleaner
Instructions:
Spray shower or tub with the multi purpose cleaner and sprinkle liberally with the baking soda.
Scrub with a good scrubbing brush.
TOILET BOWL CLEANER
Ingredients:
1 cup vinegar
Instructions:
Flush toilet and then pour about 1 cup vinegar into the toilet being sure to hit under the rim.
Let sit for half an hour.
Scrub well with a toilet brush.
To clean the outside of the bowl, spray multi purpose cleaner on tank and seat and around the base and wipe up with a sponge.
I's amazing how easy non-toxic cleaning can be!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Passwords, things that explode and scalloped potatoes
You know you've taken too long a break from blogging when on attempting to get on your own blog you forget the password and have to create a whole new one! This was me, today! I talked with my sister who chided me for not blogging more often. In telling her about my day, I decided to blog about it. But little did I know it would be tougher than I thought to get started. Time to sign in. I type my e-mail address in - I did know that much - then it was time for the dreaded password. I don't know about you, but this step scares me. I always use the same password even though "they" tell us never to do that - but it works for me only to remember ONE set of number or letters.....makes sense to me. That was all fine and good for a while but lately I've been discovering that my old standby isn't good enough for "some" web pages......"they" seem to be a little too high and mighty for my lowly but faithful friend. "Not strong enough". "Not long enough" are some of the words to discourage my little friend of so long. So I try something new - words and numbers placed in such an order and with so little meaning that once typed in are never to be remembered again!!! Well, apparently this was one of those web pages that wasn't happy with Old Faithful. So in getting creative, I forgot the whole thing. Of course, if I blogged more I wouldn't have forgotten it, but that's beside the point..... Repeatedly I try to get signed in while on the phone with my sister, not listening to a word she's saying because I'm panicking with each failed attempt at logging on to my own blog!! After a while at trying every combination of "Old Faithful with a twist" that I could, they add something just to test me. After I get the password correct (which they don't realize will NEVER happen), they say, I need to retype their funky shaped letters and numbers. Have you ever wondered what they trying to prove with that exercise? That I'm above the age of 5? What! So with the stress of not knowing my password and also not being able to read their strange letters and numbers I resort to creating an entirely new password. I do eventually figure out the letters and numbers for their silly little quiz and they let me through. With that said, once again I'll try to pen my life for you to read, hopefully laugh and maybe even relate to the ups and downs of life as a wife and mom.
Since my little girls aren't little anymore the horrific stories of diapers exploding, food exploding or most anything they touch exploding are basically over. My teenage daughters don't really "explode" anymore - or so I thought.
I had spent the afternoon getting some food ready for our church potluck tomorrow. I thought to myself, "Scalloped potatoes would be nice." Where do I get these ideas? I have never even made scalloped potatoes in my life. I never liked them as a kid and never tried them as an adult. But today apparently needed to be the day for me to turn over a new leaf. I'm never quite sure why I do the things I do, but that's the way life happens around me.
Well, first step, find a recipe where you have all the ingredients at home so you don't have to go to the store. The World Wide Web - I find one - perfect. I might be able to pull this off yet. I need to triple this recipe because it's for a potluck - we need lots of food. It takes a while with all that grating and chopping and layering..... but eventually they're done - lovely. I actually have NO idea how they might taste, but they look good which is good enough for me - I'm sure the church people will love them. I have a total of two minutes to relish in my accomplishment before one of my daughters asks, "Are there any for us? Like, can we take some of them out and eat them?" A little horrified with the thought of ruining my masterpiece by taking some of the potatoes out before serving the rest to the church - tacky, I respond with a flat, "No".
Next on the agenda. Dinner for us - scalloped potatoes are done for the church, now, what will we eat? I remember some soup I have in the freezer. "Yes, that will work well for a Saturday night dinner." Quite smug with my organization I continue on with my day. After a while the same daughter, whom I will now call my little scalloped potato head, asks, "Can we make some scalloped potatoes for ourselves to eat tonight? I love them." Not thrilled with this prospect - more chopping, grating, layering......but this time I answer, "OK", comes out of my mouth.
Now, while I had all the ingredients for the scalloped potatoes I didn't have what I needed for the banana cream pies that still had to be baked for the potluck. If you haven't noticed yet, this potluck thing is kind of a big deal..... But now I have a dilemna. I was going to have to go to town. Usually this is not too big a deal but today is Saturday. My hair isn't town ready. It looked, well, how can I say it, interesting. The ever popular "Saturday hairdo waiting to get fixed until AFTER I had exercised" hairdo. Thankfully right at that moment, my wonderful husband returned home and in hearing my little problem offered to go to the store for me. What a guy!! I consent. He sweetly adds, "Do you want to drive with me? You can wait in the car while I go in?" How can I refuse! "Yes", I respond. So off we go. We get to the grocery store and he takes the list - this is the kind of list I know he's going to mess up - not because he's inept in a grocery store, although.....but you know that kind of grocery shopping where you're going to stand in front of whatever it is and stare. Stare at the price, stare at the size, stare at the woman in the aisle who's also staring, just staring because you aren't sure what would work best....Maybe I'm the only person in the whole world that does things like that, but it happens regularly. Decisions, decisions, decisions. I worry about my husband in there with all those decisions to make. I'm sure he needs my help, I conclude. My hair and I enter the store. He was a little shocked to see me holding the bananas while he's staring at the potatoes..... and after seeing his stunned expression I was a little worried that he was ashamed of my Saturday hair, but he said he wasn't........ moving on. It took us a while of staring but eventually decisions were made and we returned home.
After putting away the few groceries for the banana cream pie, it's time to make a single batch of scalloped potatoes - AGAIN! I was getting pretty good at this so it didn't take too long. I had planned to exercise right after I was done. Good, things are humming now. A little bend in the road, another phone call - it's a long one - a pretty big bend....1 hour in fact. Now it's getting dark. The potatoes are pretty much done and I still haven't exercised. Shucks, I'll just have to shorten my workout......too bad! 25 minutes later I'm back. Immediately upon returning home - sweaty and all - my daughter - little scalloped potato head - asks, "What are we having WITH the potatoes? Like sausage or something?" Once again I'm amazed - I thought I'd done pretty well with making the extra scalloped potatoes, now she actually wants dinner out the deal! I felt justified in my feelings, so I respond, "I had planned on soup. Can't we just have the potatoes alone?" Sounds a little wrong but I go with it. She doesn't like that idea so I retort, "Alright, we can have some sausage - but it's frozen". By this time, the scalloped potatoes are sitting on the stove cooling rapidly and we're about to start working with frozen meat!! I suggest maybe hot dogs instead- that will be quicker. But we don't have enough of them for all of us, of course. Back to the sausage - with added hot dogs - why not!.....This meal is turning interesting. Then my little potato head says, "And can we have some green beans with that?" Why not! We've succeed in dragging out this "soup supper" into a full fledged smorgasboard!! "OK", once again, flatly. I tell her we need to put the potatoes back in the oven. (This unthawing ordeal could take a lifetime) Together, we truck out to the freezer and retrieve the sausage. Thankfully, little potato head helps me by finishing the meal because I get another phone call. Wonderful child. We eat, we enjoy. Everything's good. I guess things still explode around here, only now it looks a lot different. By the way, my soup is still thawing on the counter.
Since my little girls aren't little anymore the horrific stories of diapers exploding, food exploding or most anything they touch exploding are basically over. My teenage daughters don't really "explode" anymore - or so I thought.
I had spent the afternoon getting some food ready for our church potluck tomorrow. I thought to myself, "Scalloped potatoes would be nice." Where do I get these ideas? I have never even made scalloped potatoes in my life. I never liked them as a kid and never tried them as an adult. But today apparently needed to be the day for me to turn over a new leaf. I'm never quite sure why I do the things I do, but that's the way life happens around me.
Well, first step, find a recipe where you have all the ingredients at home so you don't have to go to the store. The World Wide Web - I find one - perfect. I might be able to pull this off yet. I need to triple this recipe because it's for a potluck - we need lots of food. It takes a while with all that grating and chopping and layering..... but eventually they're done - lovely. I actually have NO idea how they might taste, but they look good which is good enough for me - I'm sure the church people will love them. I have a total of two minutes to relish in my accomplishment before one of my daughters asks, "Are there any for us? Like, can we take some of them out and eat them?" A little horrified with the thought of ruining my masterpiece by taking some of the potatoes out before serving the rest to the church - tacky, I respond with a flat, "No".
Next on the agenda. Dinner for us - scalloped potatoes are done for the church, now, what will we eat? I remember some soup I have in the freezer. "Yes, that will work well for a Saturday night dinner." Quite smug with my organization I continue on with my day. After a while the same daughter, whom I will now call my little scalloped potato head, asks, "Can we make some scalloped potatoes for ourselves to eat tonight? I love them." Not thrilled with this prospect - more chopping, grating, layering......but this time I answer, "OK", comes out of my mouth.
Now, while I had all the ingredients for the scalloped potatoes I didn't have what I needed for the banana cream pies that still had to be baked for the potluck. If you haven't noticed yet, this potluck thing is kind of a big deal..... But now I have a dilemna. I was going to have to go to town. Usually this is not too big a deal but today is Saturday. My hair isn't town ready. It looked, well, how can I say it, interesting. The ever popular "Saturday hairdo waiting to get fixed until AFTER I had exercised" hairdo. Thankfully right at that moment, my wonderful husband returned home and in hearing my little problem offered to go to the store for me. What a guy!! I consent. He sweetly adds, "Do you want to drive with me? You can wait in the car while I go in?" How can I refuse! "Yes", I respond. So off we go. We get to the grocery store and he takes the list - this is the kind of list I know he's going to mess up - not because he's inept in a grocery store, although.....but you know that kind of grocery shopping where you're going to stand in front of whatever it is and stare. Stare at the price, stare at the size, stare at the woman in the aisle who's also staring, just staring because you aren't sure what would work best....Maybe I'm the only person in the whole world that does things like that, but it happens regularly. Decisions, decisions, decisions. I worry about my husband in there with all those decisions to make. I'm sure he needs my help, I conclude. My hair and I enter the store. He was a little shocked to see me holding the bananas while he's staring at the potatoes..... and after seeing his stunned expression I was a little worried that he was ashamed of my Saturday hair, but he said he wasn't........ moving on. It took us a while of staring but eventually decisions were made and we returned home.
After putting away the few groceries for the banana cream pie, it's time to make a single batch of scalloped potatoes - AGAIN! I was getting pretty good at this so it didn't take too long. I had planned to exercise right after I was done. Good, things are humming now. A little bend in the road, another phone call - it's a long one - a pretty big bend....1 hour in fact. Now it's getting dark. The potatoes are pretty much done and I still haven't exercised. Shucks, I'll just have to shorten my workout......too bad! 25 minutes later I'm back. Immediately upon returning home - sweaty and all - my daughter - little scalloped potato head - asks, "What are we having WITH the potatoes? Like sausage or something?" Once again I'm amazed - I thought I'd done pretty well with making the extra scalloped potatoes, now she actually wants dinner out the deal! I felt justified in my feelings, so I respond, "I had planned on soup. Can't we just have the potatoes alone?" Sounds a little wrong but I go with it. She doesn't like that idea so I retort, "Alright, we can have some sausage - but it's frozen". By this time, the scalloped potatoes are sitting on the stove cooling rapidly and we're about to start working with frozen meat!! I suggest maybe hot dogs instead- that will be quicker. But we don't have enough of them for all of us, of course. Back to the sausage - with added hot dogs - why not!.....This meal is turning interesting. Then my little potato head says, "And can we have some green beans with that?" Why not! We've succeed in dragging out this "soup supper" into a full fledged smorgasboard!! "OK", once again, flatly. I tell her we need to put the potatoes back in the oven. (This unthawing ordeal could take a lifetime) Together, we truck out to the freezer and retrieve the sausage. Thankfully, little potato head helps me by finishing the meal because I get another phone call. Wonderful child. We eat, we enjoy. Everything's good. I guess things still explode around here, only now it looks a lot different. By the way, my soup is still thawing on the counter.
Monday, October 25, 2010
French a la mode
I'm back. It's been a long time and although it's a huge "no no" in the blogging world to quit blogging, I did it anyway.....
I watched Julie and Julia for the first time on DVD the other day and was inspired. OK, Julia is hilarious and all I want to do is have a cooking show just like hers. I went online and watched some of her old shows. What a hoot. Pies flop,food falls on the floor...I LOVED it. My chef friend came over and together "we laughed, we cried, she moved us Bob". Oh how I love Veggie Tales. But Julia can't even start to compare with Martha Stewart. Julia is so, so......normal. In Martha's world I feel like I need some sort of handwritten permission slip to see if I'm qualified to even think about making one of her creations. Some of you know what I mean - those of you who have inferior complexes like I have. When I was a teenager my piano teacher had a huge orange cat in the house that would sit in the corner of her piano room. It would perch itself on a shelf and stare at me while I waited for my piano teacher to arrive from upstairs usually with her hair dripping in conditioner - OK, that's another story - and wearing a velor sport suit with high heels - well, that's also another story. But this cat made me feel so awkward while it looked at me with his "if I had fingers, I could play WAY better than you" attitude.....OK, I'm revealing way too much about my inferiority complexes. Anyway, Martha does the same thing to me as that cat did. Despite my inferiority of orange cats and Martha, I've discovered that I AM Julia! Well maybe not exactly. I can't cook French food, actually I've never even been to France, I am not 6'2", I don't have a cooking show, never been to cooking school, and hardly know what she's talking about most of the time when she uses French food names. OK, I'm not AT ALL like Julia! Regardless, I decided to try some French cooking. I feverishly looked online for any recipes of Julia's that I could lay my hands on. I even tirelessly copied these recipes, watched some of her shows online PBS, looked for her recipe books on Amazon.com, and thought about growing thyme. OK, I was hooked. While online I found a guy who could help me - he had a pleasing voice who shared one of Julia's Baked Chicken recipes. I had a chicken in the freezer so maybe I could become a French cook - actually I had two that I bought from Costco. I'm sure I could be a French cook now. The chicken thawed in the sink while I dreamed of all the wonderful French cuisine I could share with my family. I only used the ingredients I had at home and unfortunately that did not include thyme. But I had a lot of rosemary in the garden so I determined with all my French culinary expertise that that would be just fine. I felt like a little French maiden in the fields of..... well, France.... and at that moment all I needed was a peasant dress with smock although I'm afraid I would have looked more like the Pillsbury dough boy. I've never really had a waist. None the less, in my flip flops and capris I went outside to retrieve my homegrown treasures. What fun to feel so earthy. I WAS JULIA. Back inside I went to work ready to delight my little family. I made the recipe just as he told me to - minus the thyme - and place my little unfeathered friend into the oven. The recipe called for watercress as a bedding for the cooked chicken. I've actually never knowingly eaten watercress and our little supermarket in town isn't as upscale as watercress so figured I'd simply substitute with spinach, another one of my French culinary expertise executive decisions - alas one bag of wilted baby spinach was all the our little French market in town could offer me so I opted for no greens. The bird is smelling delicious by now, I must say. I cut it up just like the little man told me to - except with a dull knife. At the table I served my French delicacy complete with potatoes (very French), and "jus". This is a new word I learned from the little man. My husband ignorantly called it dressing so I happily corrected him of which I'm sure he was pleased to know the truth. Sarcasm aside, I don't want you to miss the fact that he and my daughter actually loved this recipe and my husband really hates baked chicken. Even though I'll never have a career in French cuisine, I'm exploring new recipes and if I find another one will share that with you as well. Bon Appetit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Wk2cYarjOI
I watched Julie and Julia for the first time on DVD the other day and was inspired. OK, Julia is hilarious and all I want to do is have a cooking show just like hers. I went online and watched some of her old shows. What a hoot. Pies flop,food falls on the floor...I LOVED it. My chef friend came over and together "we laughed, we cried, she moved us Bob". Oh how I love Veggie Tales. But Julia can't even start to compare with Martha Stewart. Julia is so, so......normal. In Martha's world I feel like I need some sort of handwritten permission slip to see if I'm qualified to even think about making one of her creations. Some of you know what I mean - those of you who have inferior complexes like I have. When I was a teenager my piano teacher had a huge orange cat in the house that would sit in the corner of her piano room. It would perch itself on a shelf and stare at me while I waited for my piano teacher to arrive from upstairs usually with her hair dripping in conditioner - OK, that's another story - and wearing a velor sport suit with high heels - well, that's also another story. But this cat made me feel so awkward while it looked at me with his "if I had fingers, I could play WAY better than you" attitude.....OK, I'm revealing way too much about my inferiority complexes. Anyway, Martha does the same thing to me as that cat did. Despite my inferiority of orange cats and Martha, I've discovered that I AM Julia! Well maybe not exactly. I can't cook French food, actually I've never even been to France, I am not 6'2", I don't have a cooking show, never been to cooking school, and hardly know what she's talking about most of the time when she uses French food names. OK, I'm not AT ALL like Julia! Regardless, I decided to try some French cooking. I feverishly looked online for any recipes of Julia's that I could lay my hands on. I even tirelessly copied these recipes, watched some of her shows online PBS, looked for her recipe books on Amazon.com, and thought about growing thyme. OK, I was hooked. While online I found a guy who could help me - he had a pleasing voice who shared one of Julia's Baked Chicken recipes. I had a chicken in the freezer so maybe I could become a French cook - actually I had two that I bought from Costco. I'm sure I could be a French cook now. The chicken thawed in the sink while I dreamed of all the wonderful French cuisine I could share with my family. I only used the ingredients I had at home and unfortunately that did not include thyme. But I had a lot of rosemary in the garden so I determined with all my French culinary expertise that that would be just fine. I felt like a little French maiden in the fields of..... well, France.... and at that moment all I needed was a peasant dress with smock although I'm afraid I would have looked more like the Pillsbury dough boy. I've never really had a waist. None the less, in my flip flops and capris I went outside to retrieve my homegrown treasures. What fun to feel so earthy. I WAS JULIA. Back inside I went to work ready to delight my little family. I made the recipe just as he told me to - minus the thyme - and place my little unfeathered friend into the oven. The recipe called for watercress as a bedding for the cooked chicken. I've actually never knowingly eaten watercress and our little supermarket in town isn't as upscale as watercress so figured I'd simply substitute with spinach, another one of my French culinary expertise executive decisions - alas one bag of wilted baby spinach was all the our little French market in town could offer me so I opted for no greens. The bird is smelling delicious by now, I must say. I cut it up just like the little man told me to - except with a dull knife. At the table I served my French delicacy complete with potatoes (very French), and "jus". This is a new word I learned from the little man. My husband ignorantly called it dressing so I happily corrected him of which I'm sure he was pleased to know the truth. Sarcasm aside, I don't want you to miss the fact that he and my daughter actually loved this recipe and my husband really hates baked chicken. Even though I'll never have a career in French cuisine, I'm exploring new recipes and if I find another one will share that with you as well. Bon Appetit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Wk2cYarjOI
Monday, July 5, 2010
My Pantry
So last week I was a puppeteer in a puppet show for the kids at camp. It's always a mystery what might happen during these events. We aren't professionals which is very clear to our audience, but rather we are all good friends working together for one common goal - to make each other humiliated. We each take turns achieving that goal. There are too many "goals" to reproduce here on paper so I will only share the ultimate "goal" which I believe cannot be topped. In this show there are puppets and "real people". You know, kind of like a "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" show, except interesting. There are two puppets of which I am one. My husband is one of the "people" in the show. There is a basic script which we are to follow but according to the puppets is most certainly optional. The theme of the show varies day to day but always has a spiritual point. It often takes a while to get to the spiritual point because the puppets aren't very controllable, much to the "real people's" dismay. Now hopefully you get the gist of what we're trying to do here. On this particular day the script tells us that my husband, a "person", and another "person" are to rummage through a sack filled with snacks for the puppets and the "people" to take to a baseball tryout. Prior to the show I was given the task of filling the sack with snacks and items of my choice that we could take to the tryout. So at home I filled the bag with all sorts of interesting things that would spur on conversation between me, the puppet, and my husband, the "person", during the show. In my rush to fill the bag with worthy items I added in a bag of dried figs. Well, fortunately for the show and for me, I was in a hurry and didn't have time to look into this bag of figs because nothing could have been better orchestrated than what happened next. We are at the scene where my husband, the "person", is rifling through the sack of snacks, etc. He pulls out varying items I choose especially for that scene. Snacks that "just don't belong here" - Sesame Street style, things like cans of tomatoes, flashlights, books, chocolate chips - because the puppet likes to cook - you get the idea. Then comes the moment - the figs - my husband, the "person", looks at the bag of figs and questions me, the puppet, about the purpose in the figs. He gripes about the necessity of this kind of snack and "whatever the point may be" and then without me being able to see, because I'm behind the puppet stage, he decides to eat one of the figs. Now it became very clear to all of us that he had never eaten a fig, or for that matter never seen, smelled, touched or even handled a dried fig before. He ate it, thought it a little dry and shriveled, but carried on with the script. He was in a conversation with another "person" and as they were talking he reached into the bag and grabbed another one to pop into his mouth. It must have been so delicious he couldn't resist another. But before he could eat another delicious dried treat the other "person" looks down and cries out "Is that a worm?" Right there in his hand, crawling in and out of the fig, was a live worm. Here we must pause. OK, it is very clear to us that he had never eaten, seen, smelled, touched or handled a dried fig before because upon closer inspection and even distant inspection the fig was moldy, dried up, shriveled, crusty.....yum. My poor ill- cuisined husband. So here comes the response to this event. Initially there was a long pause from husband, the "person", then a look of illness, nausea perhaps, and finally an expression of "what should I do now, should I drink something or should I throw it up expression...." Unfortunately for me he opts for none of the above and makes his way over to the puppet stage, more specifically towards me. He peers over the side of the stage and glares down at me - may I add he also looks a little pale - much to my delight. I scream which makes the puppet look like she's having a delayed reaction to the oncoming of the "person". The dignity of the show was gone - if there even was any to begin with, but oh how I wish I could have been a "real person" that day because apparently the look on his face was "priceless". How we ever recovered from that scene, the Lord only knows. We've had many moments behind and in front of that stage but nothing will compare to that infamous day of fig eating, thanks to my well stocked and cared for pantry and my good humored husband.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Fourth of July
Happy Fourth of July!
What a privilege to enjoy freedom. I was reminded of that today so here's a little story for you. This morning we went to the 4th of July Parade in town. It had been raining all week so we weren't too sure if we would get rained out. As it turned out the weather was lovely - breezy, no hot Texas sun - great for sitting outside. But we live in a small town and small town parades, while lots of fun, can be a little cheesy. So this year didn't disappoint us. Some of the "floats" consisted of families gathered on trailers being pulled by trucks, others consisted of grown men and boys holding water hoses or other spraying devises used to pelt innocent bystanders and still others contained girls dressed up in pretty dresses waving like royalty.
But I must admit that by far my favorite part of the parade is always the tootsie rolls. I know it's pathetic, but this is how it works each July for me. I sit in my lawn chair watching this amazing display of patriotic creativity while children risk their lives as they run out into the street and collect the candy - the tootsie rolls get weeded out and promptly get handed over to me - I have quite a reputation so other people's children generously hand over their tootsie rolls to me too. It's a great set up. But I believe I reached a low point. There was a tootsie roll sitting alone in the street. How could such a nutritious, delicious snack get simply squished by oncoming traffic, I ask. So I did what any hero would do. I got up - I walked into the street, took the opportunity away from the small children and snatched the tootsie roll into my greedy little hand. I realize that's low, but unbelievable it got a little lower. The lowest point was taking place in my mind - I actually struggled with the thought of getting out of my comfy lounge chair and hauling my middle aged body into the street to "steal" the candy from the children. Too much work....In retrospect, I'm rather surprised I didn't order some small child to leave their candy retriving and run over to that tootsie roll, get it and make them give it to me! That would have been lower still. At least I had the "decency" to get up and steal the candy myself. I am probably the only candy thief in the states. O well, obviously I can't get bothered with those kind of details. One thing I'm incredibly thankful for is that the candy of the day usually ISN'T the tootsie roll. It's often some hard candy that I'm not enticed with, otherwise I'd look like a tootsie roll myself. But after that lovely time we left the parade and enjoyed some time at home - I made some peach jam, cleaned the house, had a nap and ended the day with a BBQ. It was a good old American holiday.
But I must get back to the privilege. While writing this I wondered what if the simple privilege of sitting on the side of the road watching a lame parade was taken from us? What if freedom of religion, freedom of expression and freedom of speech was taken away from us? Our little town in the south would certainly look different. So since we still have this freedom I'm thankful for the enjoyment it brings. Even the simple things need to be remembered as gifts from the Lord. He definitely gives beyond what we deserve. Have a wonderful weekend!!
What a privilege to enjoy freedom. I was reminded of that today so here's a little story for you. This morning we went to the 4th of July Parade in town. It had been raining all week so we weren't too sure if we would get rained out. As it turned out the weather was lovely - breezy, no hot Texas sun - great for sitting outside. But we live in a small town and small town parades, while lots of fun, can be a little cheesy. So this year didn't disappoint us. Some of the "floats" consisted of families gathered on trailers being pulled by trucks, others consisted of grown men and boys holding water hoses or other spraying devises used to pelt innocent bystanders and still others contained girls dressed up in pretty dresses waving like royalty.
But I must admit that by far my favorite part of the parade is always the tootsie rolls. I know it's pathetic, but this is how it works each July for me. I sit in my lawn chair watching this amazing display of patriotic creativity while children risk their lives as they run out into the street and collect the candy - the tootsie rolls get weeded out and promptly get handed over to me - I have quite a reputation so other people's children generously hand over their tootsie rolls to me too. It's a great set up. But I believe I reached a low point. There was a tootsie roll sitting alone in the street. How could such a nutritious, delicious snack get simply squished by oncoming traffic, I ask. So I did what any hero would do. I got up - I walked into the street, took the opportunity away from the small children and snatched the tootsie roll into my greedy little hand. I realize that's low, but unbelievable it got a little lower. The lowest point was taking place in my mind - I actually struggled with the thought of getting out of my comfy lounge chair and hauling my middle aged body into the street to "steal" the candy from the children. Too much work....In retrospect, I'm rather surprised I didn't order some small child to leave their candy retriving and run over to that tootsie roll, get it and make them give it to me! That would have been lower still. At least I had the "decency" to get up and steal the candy myself. I am probably the only candy thief in the states. O well, obviously I can't get bothered with those kind of details. One thing I'm incredibly thankful for is that the candy of the day usually ISN'T the tootsie roll. It's often some hard candy that I'm not enticed with, otherwise I'd look like a tootsie roll myself. But after that lovely time we left the parade and enjoyed some time at home - I made some peach jam, cleaned the house, had a nap and ended the day with a BBQ. It was a good old American holiday.
But I must get back to the privilege. While writing this I wondered what if the simple privilege of sitting on the side of the road watching a lame parade was taken from us? What if freedom of religion, freedom of expression and freedom of speech was taken away from us? Our little town in the south would certainly look different. So since we still have this freedom I'm thankful for the enjoyment it brings. Even the simple things need to be remembered as gifts from the Lord. He definitely gives beyond what we deserve. Have a wonderful weekend!!
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