Nerds

So I started another project. But this time I found something out about myself that I don't think I ever realized before. I am a nerd. I'm sure I'd be happy in a lab coat and goggles, wearing glasses with tape, holding clipboards....you know, the real deal. I really love to research. The only problem is that I love to research more than I love making or doing the very thing I just researched. A lot of people have creativity, grace, style - I seem to only have the ability to look things up.... Well, this ability or whatever you might want to call it - this nerdiness - whatever - has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years and this new project is no exception.

In order to tell you what this new venture is all about I must give some background information. About 11 years I went holistic. To explain what I mean I will use one of my adorable sisters own words. "Whenever we go to visit her (meaning me) it's like going to 'Little House on the Prairie!'" Isn't she just adorable! Unfortunately, she isn't completely off her rocker. Over the years it is true that I have embarked on some pretty odd and "a la naturel" adventures. For instance, I started raising and milking goats, grinding my own grain for homemade breads and using herbs regularly for health. In my defense, I don't wear a bonnet....Little House wouldn't have had me. But my projects have always been interesting, often amusing and occasionally irritating to my family.

My newest project came out of a pretty nervy and possibly egotistical thought which went something like this. "I can make that!." Although I have changed many habits in my life from diet to health care to you name it, makeup was something I would NOT abandon for the sake of health. There just had to be a way around this little toxicity problem because my barn still needed painting - if you know what I mean. So in an attempt to improve this dilemna, so far as toxin levels go, I tried to find healthy alternatives. I would read labels and research ingredients (my forte) and then try to find something that wasn't outrageously expensive and somewhat safe to use on my face. When my daughters joined the makeup band wagon it became more difficult. But we limped along with a "this is the best I can do mentality". I was challenged last fall on some of the questionable ingredients in my regiment and research got the better of me and I ended up purchasing a truly harmless loose mineral foundation. The company really thought a lot of their three ingredients because the price was outrageous. So now I'll unveil my new project - I looked at the ingredients list and said to myself something like this, "I can figure out how to make this stuff at home! I think I'm going to make my own makeup in my own kitchen!!" Loreal, you have nothing on me!! Did I just lose you? You read it right. I'm attempting to make my own makeup at home!

But here's where my nerdy self takes over - it's time to research. I research and research, am still researching and since I'm such a "go big or go home" kind of girl, I am not only researching this one mineral makeup, but this monster has grown to include eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, lotions, creams - you name it, I had something written down on it. It moves to the next step. Ordering. Little jars, Iron Oxides, clay, oils all start arriving....fun, fun, fun. Don't you love packages that come in the mail? Now that I have the fun healthy ingredients in my kitchen I now have to do the part I'm not that good at - working.....But the determination to make this happen takes over and I get started. My first assignment is to duplicate the foundation I had recently discovered. Experiment after experiment. Try after try. Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this. Mixing colors, mixing ingredients. Trying a different combination. Try it on my face, take it off, try again. Maybe this will work after all. I think I'll wear it out! Feeling a sense of accomplishment, it was time for bigger and better things.

Lotion. I have found a wonderful little recipe on the internet for face cream. I should have clued in from the picture of the woman who formulated the recipe that this might not be a great idea because she was the real deal - berkenstocks, long dress and almost equally as long was her henna-dyed hair. Well, the instructions were so plain and clear I figure there was no way I could mess it up. The procedure begins. I melt the oils - lovely coconut and sunflower oils. I add the water including aloe vera and then in comes the beeswax that I have chopped into little pieces and melted into the oils. The beeswax came from that woman and has quite an odor but I had nothing to compare it to being so new to this world, so I trustingly carry on. I add a few more ingredients and some lavender oil for scent. "This is easy", I conclude. Next comes the blender - mix it up and in the end it actually looks like fluffy icing. Into the containers it goes. Beautiful! I am so proud of my handiwork and figure this is such a no fail deal I'll make millions! Well, that evening I decide to put some of my creamy masterpiece on my face to lubricate it for the night. It's actually quite a heavy face cream not really a lotion at all and kind of greasy but if you have dry skin let me tell you this stuff will oil you up in no time....so on it goes. I enter the living room with my adorned face. All along I have been smelling that woman's beeswax odor coming from the cream. It has quite a strong smell that I've been trying to ignore. Finally I face the facts - it stinks! How could that woman with the hemp, henna get-up sell me stinky beeswax? I enter the living room anyway. My daughter immediately smells the toxicity now permeating the room and my poor husband is completely grossed out. Actually at this point I can't even stand myself! I must wash it off. Off I trudge back to the bathroom to rid myself of the unwanted stench. Daughter and husband are satisfied. I am a little defeated, but over the course of the next couple of days and now weeks I would console myself by using a little humor. My consolation consisted of threatening the kids with my opening the dreaded bottle - they would in turn scream bloody murder at the mere thought. This procedure at least gave me some compensation for my failure.

But then it happened. I had a friend over one evening and wanted to share with her how awful my cream smelled so I chanced it and opened the lid. To my amazement the cream didn't have that terrible smell. It was thicker than "all get out", but it didn't smell. I could grease a pig and you'd never be able to catch it, but it didn't smell. The only smell was the lavender. So after all that researching and nerding around, I do not wear any homemade facial cream, but what I do wear on my face is homemade loose foundation, eyeshadow, liner, blush and even tinted lip balm. Being a nerd isn't all that bad after all.